September 24, 2007

Alone

Depression hits me again sometime this month. You know the feeling where you are inside this dark tunnel where you feel no one will hear you even if you scream your lungs out? Or not even a pinhole of light gets through? It's that tight. Well, that's how i felt. For no reason. Whatsoever. It's so sad it was bordering on being funny.

Well, what did I do? I just rode it out. Aside from my husband whose probably deaf by now everytime I whine, I've got no one to vent my frustrations, sadness, anger and angst. I just realized I have no friends at all. Now that's making me depressed again.

I know for sure that I am not a bad person. I guess I am not just the type to interconnect with another human being on a deep level. Or maybe the people I met are just not meant to be the kind of friends I wanted. Or vice versa.

Don't take pity on me. I have a friend in my hubby and if you count EJ, I'd say I have one and a half friends. It's more than enough to carry me through whatever tide's coming my way. Don'cha think?

September 22, 2007

When did your baby start walking

I can't help but feel impatient about EJ's walking. Make that clear however that I am not worried. He can pull himself to a standing position and walk with guidance. He can also walk when he is pushing something, like his favorite brooom-brooom (car).


I find it sweet the way he takes my hand when he wants to cross the room or when he wants to pick up his toys. He was not much of a crawler. Even now, he'd rather walk even if he still can't walk on his own.

But when will he walk on his own? They say don't rush him into walking. Enjoy your baby while you still can. But I think I will enjoy and have more fun if I am chasing him across the park.

Or won't I?

September 16, 2007

Let's do this!

Maldives is hot. The weather I mean. And it's ramazan time. Work time is shorter and the place looks dead during the day. Wouldn't you rather do this?



Yum! Oh, how I wish!

September 13, 2007

Tsunami Alert

In between text with my hubby, my fone rang. It was hubby himself calling. He asked me if we were on the way to pick him up. I said not yet but we're about to go. He told me to stay at home because there was a tsunami alert all over the Indian Ocean. I said "what?!" He asked me "Didn't you feel the tremble? There was an earthquake!" Oh my god!!!

Suddenly the horrors of tsunami 2004 flashed back in my memory.

I was still single and was still working in one of the resorts here in Maldives when tsunami 2004 happened. I thought I was going to die that day....

I felt a slight tremor at around 6-ish that morning. But because I was still so sleepy, I didn't mind and just went back to sleep. Later at around 9am, my cousin and I woke up to a loud thump. I thought a big truck had hit our wall. I hurriedly checked outside what it was and was dumbfounded when I found out that it was the wall on the staff area which fell down due to a stinky brownish water rushing forward. My first thought: a BIG wave splashed over to the staff area! So I scurried away and put all my shoes and flip flops on my bed. I didn't want them getting wet. I told my cousin to do the same. While I was busy with my other things on the floor, a sudden and strong current of stinky brownish water came rushing and immediately filled our room knee deep. That's when I panicked and realized it was more than a splash of a big wave.

My bed was floating by then so I climbed and held on to the curtains by the side of my bed. I looked outside and saw that the water level kept on rising. From where I was, I saw a guy staff outside holding on to a tree and the water was already above his waist level. At that point, I was in hysteria. I had several thoughts on how to escape/survive. I thought of swimming outside of the room to the trees so I can hold on just like the man was doing outside. But I know I wouldn't be able to do that because I couldn't leave my cousin in the room. She doesn't know how to swim.

The current was so strong, my bed was rocking. I looked at my cousin. Her conversation with her friend on the phone was cut. She was now crying. Then I heard wails from another room of girls. I imagined someone was deep down the water. I got even more terrified. I seriously thought, this is how I am going to die, such a tragic fate. I wonder how my family will take the news?

Then just as suddenly as the water filled our room, it also suddenly stopped. It was fast. I think the whole thing lasted for 15 minutes only. But then again, it might have been longer. I can't remember anymore. After the water has subsided, we went out and somebody was shouting tsunami! tsunami! I saw our GM walking towards the staff area and asking us if we were alright. He told us it was tsunami and the water is definitely coming back. He said we should take our important things and go immediately to the highest point of the island which was the lobby of the resort.

My cousin and I took our passports and tickets and some dry pieces of clothing and we hurriedly went to the lobby with the rest of the staff and the guests. The waiting was more tramautic. Imagine being prepared yet not really knowing what to do in case the water level rises again.

After a whole day of waiting and praying, the sea water became stable and our GM said it was safe to sleep.

P.S. Nobody was hurt in our resort. The girls who were screaming were just plain scared and the man who was holding on to the tree wasn't hurt either.

So when my hubby told me the earthquake was a 7.9, I was in a panic state. What if tsunami happens again? What if it's going to be worse this time? What will we do? Where will we "hide" or stay? 

September 11, 2007

Smashingly HOT

Yours truly turned 29 last August 22.

We went to a Thai resto with some friends to celebrate my birthday. It was an all filipino affair, well except for our Indonesian friend, Jamal. But then again he eats filipino food with gusto and speaks a little tagalog so he's counted as filipino too. Haha!

I wanted to have booze that night but in order to have so, we have to cross another island first. How funny is that?

Anyway booze or without booze, I had a happy happy birthday. Who wouldn't? I have the most wonderful husband, the most adorable baby and I still look smashingly hot. LOL! I needed to say that for my self-confidence. 


Kuya Joe, Baby Anna (LIFE of the party), Jamal and muy guapito hubby (naks!)


Pardon my baby's paci, he was soo sleepy =)


Cutie girls, Eiesha (fil-maldivian) and Haily (fil-canadian) with Beck with cutie boy Johnny.


Ryan, my cousin Janeth, Kuya Joe and Baby Anna


Gorgeous filipinas in Maldives - Mumsified, Sheila, Ate Tess, Yvonne and Anna Marie

Thank you dear God for all the blessings you have given me and for keeping me and my family safe. I couldn't ask for more. 

September 10, 2007

Wanted Nanny

I am looking for a nanny who looks exactly like this person below:



Please help me. I am in dire need of a nanny. I will be working soon and my baby will only succumb to the above person's charm, aside from his mommy of course. If you know her or you have seen someone who looks like her, please leave a comment. LOL!


September 8, 2007

Subic and Singapore

I have totally forgotten about our trip to Subic and Singapore (last August) until I saw the pics again. Something caught my eye and it's funny that I have to share it.

First two pics below were at Subic and the third and fourth pics were at Singapore. Look at my blouses!!! You would think either:

a) These are the only clothes she has or;
b) They went to Subic and Singapore simultaneously.

But then option b is not possible so it's more likely that I only have these couple of blouses! LOL! Paging hubby! Please buy me new clothes!

Ocean Adventure


Zoobic with my brother and sister in law

The Merlion


Underwater World

And while browsing again on our Subic and Singapore pics, I saw these.










Doesn't he look adorable?

September 4, 2007

A different me

I have noticed a change in me.

I don't know if people have noticed it but it annoys me to think that I am actually annoying. One time, my hubby was telling me about something he thinks is irrelevant at work. I didn't find it irrelevant at all. So I pestered him and pushed him and nag him why it didn't affect him. Even without him telling me, I knew that he was annoyed at me. But I blamed it all on PMS.

A few days after PMS, I was talking to somebody about a person who didn't deserve all the good things that are coming his way. I was whining vehemently as if I just lost a million pounds. If you know what I mean. And I just realized that the person I was talking to was probably confused and annoyed at me. That person would have yelled, "who cares?" if manners didn't stop him =)

So I am thinking, was I always like this? Or if not, what brought this on? Is it because I need to voice out my opinion and reassure myself that I am still a thinking animal even if I just stay at home and play with my baby all the time?

Oh man! Gotta do something about that before I drive everyone who matters to me away.

September 2, 2007

To work or not to work?

Here goes another incessant question that has been bugging me all this time (well ok, after I gave birth). To work or not to work?

I know I said in my previous posts that I have resigned to the fact that I have to be a SAHM while my hubby works his butt off. Haha! But there are times (like now) that I want to go back to work again. It's become an itch that I have to scratch over and over again.

Oh I don't know.

Financially speaking and modesty aside, I don't need to work yet. My hubby is currently earning enough for the three of us to live a comfortable life. Maybe not for some but it's enough for us.

But what about me and my ego? Sometimes I still feel worthless staying at home and just "taking care" of the baby. Barbaric thought I know, but I can't shake the feeling.

Growing up in the province, I remember women who didn't/can't pursue higher education stayed at home and looked after their kids (usually more than 5 kids). I don't know if it was my mother (my mother worked till her retirement age) or it was just a realization to me but I thought then that if you were uneducated you were "doomed" to stay at home. And to stay at home wasn't perceived good. Or so I thought then. Of course I know better now. But still sometimes I can't help but feel self pity. I don't know why. Most of my friends tell me that if they were in my shoes, they'd gladly take SAHMing to a new level. But that's them.

Oh I don't know.

And if I work, I'd have to leave my baby to someone else's care. Would I be comfortable with that? You bet I am not! Sometimes, I feel like nobody can take care of my baby the way that I do. I even feel uncomfortable when I leave EJ alone with hubby. LOL!

Oh I don't know.

Can someone please answer my question. To work or not to work?

September 1, 2007

My brother blogs!

On EJ's birthday, my eldest brother mentioned that he's gotta take pics of the event so he can post it on his blog. Then I forgot.

While browsing the net today, I remembered that my brother blogs too. And so I searched Multiply and found this : Bisanuno

He is the eldest in the family and the most "sosyal". Growing up, I looked up to him. I remember that whenever he comes home on school break (he studied in Manila which paved the way for all of us to study in Manila as well) I was always at my best. There was a time that I brushed my teeth 6 times in a day because my brother told me to. LOL!

Anyway, my brother has opted to retire very early and is now busy making his hobby into a business. He blogs at Multiply and at the same time sell his collection of antique chinese ceramics, filipino paintings and vintage swiss watches.

To my Mano, goodluck with the business and thank you for the Tag Heuer!!!