I know it's bound to happen.
After all the excitement of the incoming holiday, the shopping galore at the weekend and the prospects of opening up a travel agency subsided, I know I will feel less enthusiastic about anything. It always happens to me. When something really good or exciting happens, after a few days I feel a little depressed. It's cyclical and I kind of know what to do afterwards.
Most of the time, I just rode it out. I just keep myself busy doing household chores. During this slump I am most productive. I finish all the ironing, clean the entire house and arrange everything.
But on some days I long for something else. Like going back to work (our travel agency business is still a concept in progress). When I am in this mood, I tend to be lazy. I don't even make the bed. What the hell, we'd be sleeping on it again come night time.
Most importantly when I am this mood, I think a lot.
********
Being an expat's wife
A friend told me that I am lucky to be able to travel and live in the country where my husband is working. Most of the Filipinos working abroad don't have the luxury to bring along their family. And she's one of those.
I said it's true but it doesn't mean it's really perfect. I always tell my hubby that I always feel like we are not "living". We move from one place to another but we don't own anything permanent.
Our condo in Manila is not yet furnished. We always say we'd do it soon but it's been two years now. Whenever we are in Manila, we always rent a condo. It is much cheaper that way than maintening a condo (association dues doesn't come cheap). Financially speaking, it would be a waste of money if we furnish the condo now but we will only get to stay on it after who knows when. Unless we rent it out. But that's another story.
Our apartment here in KL just covers the bare essentials. I don't want to waste money buying things we won't be able to bring back to Manila or wherever we're going next.
What am I?
Am I just a wife? Or am I just a mother? Aren't I a woman in the first place with needs and wants of her own?
I still have dreams and ambitions but they're taking a back seat now. Right now, I am a wife and a mother. The woman is somewhere in between.
I was talking to a new found friend the other day. She's a new mom as well. She said that it is a daily struggle to be a mom but it is a sweet struggle. Women struggle to find the balance in all the roles they play - wife, mother (SAHM or working mom) and woman.
I guess I should assert myself. Not the wife, not the mother but the real "me" before marriage and motherhood happened. Because I realized that whenever the real me is lost, I do not function well as a wife and a mother.
Financial Matter
How much should we save? Is 60% of hubby's salary enough? Or are we spending too much?
We don't intend to stay expats for a long time. We are actually giving ourselves a maximum of four more years before going back to Manila. So we try to save as much as we can without skimping too much.
Sometimes I feel like the self imposed budget (40% of hubby's salary) is still too much. For this month, we are 1,200MYR less than the budget. What did we do? We splurged and bought something from Gap, Fila, Mango and Toy's R' Us.
And I feel guilty right now.
Weight Loss
This is really a sore topic. I have a love and hate affair with my body.
Whenever I am down, I tend to eat a lot. This makes me feel bad afterwards. Then I make a promise to myself to really start taking control of my weight and my life in general.
But it is just so difficult. There are days when I look at my self in the mirror that I cringe from disgust. But there are days when I just don't care.
I know that being physically healthy is important. But why do we obsess on being so thin?
Or is it just me?
0 comments:
Post a Comment